Let's just start by stating the obvious, I'm 23, married, and moved far away from home to our first base. I still get asked to this day why I married so young, like it's a bad thing. I've wrote a blog before about why I felt like it was right for me. I'm going to be going over that as well as talk about my experiences, everyone's is different, and until I married my husband I had no prior experience with being involved with the Military, honestly I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but life is that way with any choices. It's the enviable. We should embrace that, embrace change, instead of being scared of it. For me it feels like I have climbed Mount. Everest just moving so far away from all my family and friends, but I wanted to be on this journey with my husband, so I am.
I would like to state, I didn't get married just because he's in the military and I felt like I had to commit right away. I was never after a pay check nor was I after a uniform. A lot of "Military Wives" get lumped into a nasty category of being a gold digger and I'm not telling you that they don't exist, but women like me are not them. I'd like to think yes, I am a Military Wife, but I'm also creative, compassionate, forgiving, loving, and everything else in between. I'm a lot of things, so it wouldn't make sense to lump every military wife into a box and call it what you will. I got married because he was brave enough to ask me, and I was brave enough to accept.
Secondly, I chose this decision based on a lot of factors of where I was in life. Even though, I'm still pretty broke at least I'm happily broke with my best friend. I recall my mom telling me stories from when her and my dad were first married, and even though they had to share burger and fries, he got the burger, she got the fries, to sum up how poor they were, they were absolutely crazy about each other. I think it's a right of passage whether your broke, or rich, that you should have to struggle a little bit in the beginning, to even really appreciate how settled you will be later. It's impossible to appreciate something unless you know how fortunate you are. Love might not pay your bills, but I promise you it makes all the struggling worth it. At least for me on a really good day for us.
Thirdly, we both made sacrifices for this lifestyle, but the most important thing is that we've been in this thing together. We've seen the pretty and ugly parts about things in our lives while married. I know for me, he makes me the better woman, the better version of myself, and I feel like that is important for your relationship. There's always something to improve. We may have sacrificed a lot, but in the end we're learning to stand on our own two feet and that's something that I couldn't get home, nor could he. I know it was scary for our parents letting us come all the way out here, but you got to let us fly sometime, and I promise it won't be much longer till were soaring just fine. :)
And Lastly, Dreams change, life changes us and I decided to change my major and even though were both sacrificing things, were still chasing our dreams. We can still be married at a young age and go to school or go to work and make something of ourselves. It sounds sometimes impossible to have it all, but if you work hard for it, it will happen. Great things come to those who work for it and those who have the courage to ask for it. Nobody achieved any dreams by letting it come to them, you have to be a go-getter in today's society.
Speaking of change, we're at our first base, and honestly, it could've gone better. I personally think they stick young couples here because nobody wants to come live here in the desert, but it's great, because we've had the opportunity to do all the above and make some amazing memories despite being so far from home. Of course there have been bad days, long homesick, days, but I would go through hell and back for my husband. I've met some truly amazing people, and some not so amazing people here and back home, it's all the same, but in the midst of these last two years, I grew up. I outgrew people like shoes and clothing, and I embraced new friendships and family. I think I will always have bad days with my anxiety, with being far from home, and being my own worst critic, but I think I will also have just as many good days. I honestly feel so fulfilled about my future no matter where it takes us, and two years ago that probably would've scared the pee out of me, because my anxiety held me back so much.
So here's to making changes, growing, love, and happiness. For those of you who are struggling with yourself, just take a breath, look at the pros and cons. Nothing is worth stressing so much over that you forget what you have in front of your eyes.
XO
